Sometimes people surprise me with their lack of sincerity, their selfish tendencies, and the amount of pain they can cause me with one little action. I suppose the longer you live, the more you become aware of our great ability as humans to take advantage of one another, disregarding how our actions, our words and our deeds, really do affect other people. Today was a rather painful day for me, as my blissful ignorance was pealed back revealing a great betrayal of trust, the kind that opens old wounds, that changes what you thought you knew so well.

Thomas Merton inspires me and challenges me so much. He has this brilliant chapter on war (chapter 16) in his book New Seeds of Contemplation, but I think it speaks into so much more than just political wars. It speaks to the whole human condition of fear and conflict, and holds onto the peace that can be found in Christ. And, tonight I find myself drawn back to it:

"So instead of loving what you think is peace, love other men and love God above all. And instead of hating the people you think are warmakers, hate the appetites and the disorder in your own soul, which are the causes of war. If you love peace, then hate injustice, hate tyranny, hate greed–but hate these things in yourself, not in another."

And so as I go to sleep tonight, I pray that I might find peace, and that I would not become bitter toward another. Rather, I ask that God might illuminate the parts of myself that need to be healed, that need to be removed, that need to be calmed, that need to be touched by Jesus. And that I would "let the peace of Christ rule in [my] heart, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly... and whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." (Colossians 3:15-17)

Posted by Heather Grace on Monday, July 2, 2007 at 2:15 AM | Permalink